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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27157393">I got too high again (realized I can't not be with you)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/buoyantsaturn/pseuds/buoyantsaturn'>buoyantsaturn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>auctober2020 [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Asexual Nico di Angelo, Dialogue Heavy, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Sibling Bonding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:34:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27157393</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/buoyantsaturn/pseuds/buoyantsaturn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Okay, so, one time Leo got drunk when we were both at this party, and he sat on my lap, and it was all I could think about for two months. I had myself convinced that I was in love with him until the next time he accidentally set himself on fire in front of me.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nico di Angelo &amp; Hazel Levesque, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>auctober2020 [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939612</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>114</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Solangelo Auctober 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I got too high again (realized I can't not be with you)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>me: realizes i've been using my ao3 account as a diary<br/>me: continues to do so because how else am i supposed to process my thoughts and feelings</p><p>aka this is my way of processing a conversation i had with my roommate like. last week,, so please no judgement :))) and enjoy!!</p><p>title from hold me tight or don't by fall out boy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>With their busy class schedules, Nico and Hazel had to make time to see each other, despite sharing an apartment. They reserved Friday nights for each other, however that meant - watching TV or a movie, and sometimes ordering pizza, then usually staying up too late just to talk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were lounging on the couch in their living room with the TV playing some Halloween show that they were both mildly interested in and only half paying attention to when Nico’s phone started buzzing in his hands. Nico didn’t sit up from his slouch when he accepted the Facetime request, and Will’s face popped up on the screen, smiling big. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nico!” Will exclaimed, causing Hazel to eye him from across the couch. He wasn’t breaking any sacred sibling bonding time rules - she was simply curious to see what it was about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Will,” Nico said, unable to stop a small smile from blooming on his lips. “What’s up?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh man, Nico, it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> nice outside,” Will told him as he was making his way inside his own apartment. “Cecil and I were just outside, uh, you know. Enjoying the fresh air.” He winked, and Nico snorted as Will started to ramble about something else entirely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel nudged him with her foot, causing Nico to glance over to her as she mouthed the words, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is he high?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico grinned and nodded, replying, </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>very</span>
  <em>
    <span> high.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I can </span>
  <em>
    <span>see </span>
  </em>
  <span>you!” Will said, and when Nico looked back at him, he saw Will pouting, now laying back on his bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you can,” Nico replied, turning his body and tilting the camera so that he and Hazel were both in frame. “Say hi to Hazel!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will returned to his bright and beautiful smile, waving as he said, “Hi, Hazel!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Will,” Hazel said, waving back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico returned to his slouch, the camera pointed only on him once more. “So… what’s up?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will’s eyes lit up. “Oh! Nico, babe, I have something very, </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> important to talk to you about.” His next few words were unintelligible as he moved around, apparently trying to find some way to prop up his phone while he was talking, meaning that Nico missed out on most of Will’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>very important topic.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He was pretty sure Will was talking about video games, so it likely wasn’t a huge loss. Or maybe it was Star Wars? Or a Star Wars video game. Really, with Will, any of those topics was equally as plausible. Nico tried to nod along regardless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Will?” Nico said gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, babe?” Will’s eyes shot back to the screen, eager to listen to whatever Nico had to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico smiled and leaned his head against the pillow beside him - it was the rainbow pillow pet Hazel had gotten him for Christmas a few years back. “Why’d you call?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will smiled back just as soft, rolling onto his side and snuggling into his own pillow, as though trying to imagine for himself that he and Nico were laying side by side. “I just wanted to see you, and be like--” He held up a peace sign. “What’s up! I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>intoxicated.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico tried to suppress his laughter, but he wasn’t doing a very good job of it the way Will appeared to light up with pride. “Okay, well, Hazel and I are watching a show right now, so I’m gonna go, okay? But I’ll see you tomorrow.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Bye, Neeks!” Will said, and he blew Nico a kiss before Nico could end the call. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico set his phone down and turned his attention back to the TV, though just as he did, the image froze. With a frown, he looked to Hazel who had the remote in her hand, and was staring right back at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” she said. “Will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel grinned. “He likes you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No he doesn’t--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He called you </span>
  <em>
    <span>babe.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico rolled his eyes. “That’s just a thing people call each other.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, </span>
  <em>
    <span>girls</span>
  </em>
  <span> call each other babe. Guys definitely do not call each other babe.” Hazel nudged him with her foot again. “He likes you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He just gets more affectionate when he’s high,” Nico told her, waving it off, “and he is...</span>
  <em>
    <span>frequently</span>
  </em>
  <span> high.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel’s head tilted to the side. “About that...should we be concerned?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico shrugged. “Cecil’s just a bad influence on him, but Will can handle himself. He’s not, like, dumb about it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” she nodded. “Dumb like...kinda like how you’re acting right now?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico kicked her back with a bit more force than she’d used on him. “Rude.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not rude if I’m stating a fact. And if you would act on your feelings, then I wouldn’t have to point out how dumb you are.” She punctuated the statement with a shrug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico huffed. “I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> how to act on my feelings. I don’t even know </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> I’m feeling.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You like him,” Hazel said, as if it was obvious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico crossed his arms over his chest, though rather than looking defiant, he almost looked like he was hugging himself. “I mean...maybe. What do I know? Clearly I’m not great at recognizing my own feelings...let alone </span>
  <em>
    <span>others.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel straightened out a leg and set her foot on Nico’s knee. For some reason, she thought that that was a comforting gesture. Nico didn’t feel the same. “Okay, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes,</span>
  </em>
  <span> you had one very bad experience, but…everybody makes mistakes! And being with what’s-his-face helped you figure some things out - admittedly in what is literally the </span>
  <em>
    <span>worst</span>
  </em>
  <span> way possible - but now you’re a very out and proud asexual man! And I’m so happy that you were able to come to that conclusion, but there’s another side to that coin that I think you’ve been ignoring.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico frowned, meeting his sister’s eyes once again. “But what if I </span>
  <em>
    <span>haven’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> been ignoring it? What if I’m aromantic, too?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel hesitated. “Oh. Um. I mean, you never pegged me as aromantic, but...maybe? You </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> tell me you were gay, so that’s what I’ve been going with.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico’s nose scrunched up in discomfort. “Yeah, but that’s just because the idea of being with a girl in any sense is disgusting to me. No offense. With guys I feel more...neutral. Or maybe it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> a positive feeling, and I just don’t know the difference.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel allowed a moment to process his words before she spoke again. “Okay. Let’s try something. When you think of Will, what comes to mind?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico shrugged again. “I guess...he’s nice? He’s nice to look at, and he’s funny, and--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Hazel waved a hand at him, cutting him off. “Not like that. Don’t tell me about him, but, like… What kind of thoughts do you have about him? If you picture the two of you spending time together, what do you imagine? Do you think of it as more traditionally romantic, like a date, or more platonic?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico frowned down at his lap in thought. “I have no idea. Can you give me, like, a scenario?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re watching a movie.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico closed his eyes and bowed his head, but there was a crease in his forehead that told of his frustration. “Okay, so… We’re sitting on the couch, and we’re sitting close together...because there’s only one bowl of popcorn.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel sighed. “Forget the popcorn. Are you still close to each other? Are you holding hands? Any sort of cuddling?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico’s eyes snapped open, shooting a glare across the couch. “Well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>now,</span>
  </em>
  <span> yeah! You’re making me think of it!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry!” She held her hands up defensively. “Then have you </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> imagined cuddling with Will?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico took a deep breath, and it looked like most of his frustration left with his exhale. “Yeah, sure, but… Okay, so, one time Leo got drunk when we were both at this party, and he sat on my lap, and it was all I could think about for two months. I had myself convinced that I was in love with him until the next time he accidentally set himself on fire in front of me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever thought about kissing him?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leo?” Nico’s nose scrunched up again. “Ew. No.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel rolled her eyes. “No, stupid. I meant </span>
  <em>
    <span>Will.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Nico averted his gaze. “Maybe once or twice, yeah.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever thought about having sex with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico buried his face in his hands and groaned, “Ew, Hazel, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She folded her arms over her chest. “This shouldn’t be a difficult question.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes,</span>
  </em>
  <span> alright?” Nico snapped, throwing his arms down. “And </span>
  <em>
    <span>then</span>
  </em>
  <span> I went down a shame spiral because even in my own imagination, I couldn’t go through with it! And Imaginary Will always got pissed at me for leading him on, and left!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel winced. “In your </span>
  <em>
    <span>daydream?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He huffed. “I’m not exactly emotionally stable.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, back to my point: it sounds to me like you want a romantic relationship with Will.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I?” Nico argued. “Or do I just want to reach that stage of friendship where it’s not weird for me to hug him whenever I want? Like, is that even an option?” He paused, though not long enough to allow Hazel to reply. “Did I ever tell you that I thought I had a crush on Frank when you two first started dating?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel’s jaw dropped. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>what?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and I don’t think I ever actually did,” Nico assured her, “but the two of you were always spending time together, and you were always holding hands or hugging or...you know, physically affectionate, or whatever. And I thought I was jealous of you! Just because you got to hug Frank all the time, and I didn’t! And then I realized that I… I just wanted to be hugged by </span>
  <em>
    <span>somebody.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel still looked a little shocked, but she shook her head as if to clear the thoughts from her mind. “Come here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico shot her a look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just </span>
  <em>
    <span>come here.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> She patted her lap, and Nico rolled his eyes. He scooted closer on the couch and then turned and tipped over until he was laying on his back with his head resting on Hazel’s thigh. “Close your eyes.” Once he did, Hazel started running her fingers through his hair. “How does this feel?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” he answered automatically, and then a moment later, “Good, whatever.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel hummed. “Do you wish you were with Will right now, instead of me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For this awkward conversation? Hell, no.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tugged on a clump of hair, causing Nico to flinch at the unexpected sensation. “Don’t be a jerk. I’m trying to help.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine. Yeah, I wish I was with Will right now,” he admitted. “But that’s just because you’re doing this out of love. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to love me, because you’re my sister, but if Will loved me, it’d be by choice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I love you by choice, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico’s eyes slid open, and he looked up at her. “I know. I love you by choice, too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She went back to stroking his hair, and Nico’s eyes closed once more. “And you know that Will already likes you, like, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Friends don’t just call to see each others’ faces. Maybe if you would give him whatever sign he needs so he knows he can ask you out--” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He already has,” Nico muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel gasped. “He </span>
  <em>
    <span>what?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico exhaled heavily, and looked down at his hands as he started picking at his fingernails. “He asked me out once, and I panicked and asked him if I could think about it - because, believe it or not, my head was even </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> jumbled back then.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazel glared down at him. “When is </span>
  <em>
    <span>back then?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico mumbled something in reply. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Nico--”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Two months ago!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Two </span>
  <em>
    <span>months?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hazel swatted at the top of his head. “Nico! You’re leading him on!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” he groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to stop, that’s not fair to him!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s not!” Nico shouted, suddenly sounding close to tears, waving his hands around frantically as if gesticulating would help him to better express what he was trying to say. “But I can’t figure myself out because there’s… There’s something </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span> with me!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span> wrong with you,” Hazel insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico let out an angry puff of breath and glared at his sister. “I can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel emotions, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Hazel. That’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>normal.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can </span>
  <em>
    <span>too</span>
  </em>
  <span> feel emotions. You’re angry and frustrated right now. Those are emotions. Sadness is an emotion. Happiness is an emotion. You’re not a </span>
  <em>
    <span>robot,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Neeks, you just don’t know how to </span>
  <em>
    <span>define</span>
  </em>
  <span> your feelings. You haven’t had the same experiences as other people, so you have to learn how to recognize things in ways that other people don’t. You can’t recognize romantic love because you haven’t experienced it yet, and you’re not going to experience it until you </span>
  <em>
    <span>try.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Why not try with someone like Will? Someone who’s nice, and handsome, and makes you laugh, and who already feels some amount of love for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico seemed to notice that his argument had lost steam. “I think ‘love’ is a strong word,” he said plainly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” Hazel shot back. “And the way he talks about you, and the way he acts when you’re around.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico sat up. “Now you’re making me anxious.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Hazel told him earnestly, setting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it gently. “Just don’t count yourself out before you even try, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico nodded. “Okay. Can we go back to the show now?” Hazel reached for the remote and resumed the episode. With his back still turned to her, Nico continued, “And can we...have a sleepover tonight?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Hazel answered softly. “My room or yours?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yours, if that’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” She paused. “Do you need a hug?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico was wrapped up in her arms before he could even get a word out.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading!!<br/>hope you enjoyed this week's therapy lmao</p><p>check out solangeloweek on tumblr for more auctober stuff!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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